


Who in your OTP is the FBI agent watching through the computer

by sketchypotato



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: AU where they arent idols, M/M, i think this counts as a crack fic, listen: someone had to write an au fic of this meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-16 00:00:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13624248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sketchypotato/pseuds/sketchypotato
Summary: Spying on the Himemiya's butler turns out to be a lot more fruitful that expected.





	Who in your OTP is the FBI agent watching through the computer

**Author's Note:**

> so i saw a post that said sth like "Who in your OTP is the FBI man and who is the one who owns the computer" and i immediately thought of ibayuzu and the thought hasn't left me since. 
> 
> the fic may not actually make sense but the point is just think about this AU. just think about it janet.
> 
> i wrote this at 1am instead of studying for my three midterms in less than a week so dont @ me about the horrors of American Government surveillance this entire fic is A Joke and im not even american

Being one of the richest and most influential families in the country, it was no surprise the Himemiyas had a group of FBIs assigned to spy on them. Ibara didn’t think that monitoring one of their butlers would be of any use though. Why not just focus on the family members and give him something else better to do? But work was work, and he accepted it with his trademark fake-smile regardless.  
  
As it turns out, Yuzuru Fushimi had been given a lot more responsibility than one would expect. From schedules to lesson plans, all information on the Himemiya’s heir could be found on his laptop. This was especially surprising considering how young he was: looking through the webcam he saw a highschool boy (occasionally still in his uniform) with short blue hair, magenta eyes and facial features that one would usually consider highly attractive. Not that Ibara thought the mole next to his eye was extremely sexy or anything. Yuzuru’s expression remained calm as he sorted through folders, arranged various appointments and sent emails for school work or family issues regarding the Himemiyas. He was incredibly capable and efficient, finishing his work promptly and barely batting an eye when emails came in about suddenly cancelled plans or rearrangements, giving a small sigh at most. The biggest change in his expression only occurred when he took a break to look through his album of photos of the Himemiya heir, smiling in a way so gentle and sweet that it made Ibara want to barf. It would probably be considered a bit creepy too, but all of Tori’s photos were actually very innocent. Ibara was surprised that he never caught Yuzuru doing anything particularly mean or indecent on the internet, as it he was expecting that he would be monitored.

At any rate, even if the Himemiyas _were_ involved in some Conspiracy, neither the heir nor his butler knew anything about it, so there wasn’t much to report. Boring.

It was a game Ibara liked to play with the people he spied on. Using his Supreme Hacking Skills, he would take remote control of the computer while the user was away and swap the position of two Desktop icons. If the user didn’t notice by the first day, he would swap another two, and another, and another. Technically speaking, the FBI were only meant to monitor the computer user and not affect the computer in any way the user might notice, but it was just so amusing to see the look of surprise and confusion on the user as they accidentally click the wrong program. Besides, they would often brush it off as being a mistake in their own memory and not investigate further.  
  
Yuzuru noticed it immediately.

He turned on the computer for the first time that day right after he woke up, frowned at the Desktop, and immediately switched it off.

By the time the computer was turned back on a day later, the Desktop had been cleared of documents, and several folders were now password protected. Not that that could stop Ibara’s Hacking Skillz, but it was still annoying, especially since most of these folders turned out to be unimportant anyway, as if Yuzuru was just messing with him. What annoyed Ibara the most was how Yuzuru didn’t seem to be any less calm than usual, despite finding out that someone had messed with his computer. He didn’t even cover the webcam with tape. None of that confusion or “oh-no-what-do-I-do??” that Ibara liked to watch as entertainment. Sure he was impressed that Yuzuru noticed the anomaly immediately, but he also made Ibara wait a whole day, not knowing when the computer would turn back on, for nothing! It was infuriating.

The next few times Ibara messed with the laptop, he tried his best to annoy Yuzuru, changing a date here and there in the schedules, changing a digit so that budgets don’t add up, moving Tori’s photos out of their neatly sorted album (by date). Every time, Yuzuru would just sigh at the computer, turn it off for a day, and turn it back on with everything back in order and different folder passwords that got ruder every time. It was the most fun Ibara had in months, actually, trying to see how else he could mess with Yuzuru and attempt to outsmart him, but Yuzuru always noticed every detail right away. And yet he never covered the webcam.

This went on for a few weeks or so, and by then Ibara felt that he knew everything about Yuzuru. His daily routine, his typing habits, the fact that he had really good taste in shoes (Ibara had never seen anyone move their cursor so fast to preorder the latest designs), his specialisation in the martial arts with multiple certificates to back it up. And yet he also felt that he knew nothing at all, the Yuzuru through the webcam had a mostly unchanging expression. He wasn’t sure why, but he actually wanted to _talk to him_.

Ibara considered for a moment. Blowing his cover would mean failing his job of course, but it’s not like he had been trying very hard to hide his presence. He knew from the start that Yuzuru knew and he wasn’t going to report him. And what’s the fun in these games if you don’t interact once in a while?  
  
The next time Yuzuru logged in, his search bar had a message.

<<why haven’t you changed your computer yet?>>

Yuzuru smiled, in a way Ibara had never seen before. One could call it a smirk even.

“There is nothing here that’ll you’ll find to incriminate me, or Bocchama, or the Himemiya family in general,” he said, looking straight at the webcam. “And besides, your games are quite amusing.”

“Since you have finally decided to reveal yourself however, may I know who you are? It’s a bit unfair that you know all about me but not the other way round, is that right?”

<<ibara>> He had typed before he could think. Well it’s not he was the only Ibara in the world, Yuzuru probably wouldn’t find out much from that.

And so they chatted, though it was mostly a back and forth of snide remarks, criticising each others moves in this game. It was bizarre, really, how casual they were, but Yuzuru didn’t seem to care if Ibara was from the mafia, a rival family, or a government spy, because he exuded this confidence that it didn’t matter, they weren’t going to get anything important out of him. Ibara found himself liking this smugness, this sharp tongue that came out while insulting him, the many faces Yuzuru was showing him now that they were actually talking to each other. He found that he liked it quite a bit.  
  
=================================================================================  
  
Yuzuru’s schedule did say that he would be out the whole day. What it did not say was that he would be visiting the coffee shop near Ibara’s office.

Yuzuru rarely deviates from his calender, so Ibara took it to be an off day. He was already at the counter, waiting for his order when Yuzuru walked in through the doors. It was a coincidence, of course, Yuzuru happened to be thirsty while running an errand nearby, and its not like he knew Ibara’s appearance to be able to recognise him. Still, Ibara could feel his own nervousness, hoping with every hope that the barista wouldn’t shout out his name.

The webcam really doesn’t do him justice, thought Ibara. Seeing Yuzuru in the flesh, in HD, was an experience. The way his hair shone, the outline of his mole, every eyelash that framed his eyes, Ibara found himself staring as Yuzuru approached the other end of the counter to order his drink.

“EXPRESSO FOR IBARA! IBARA?!”

Hearing his name made him snap back to his senses, and he whipped his head around just in time to see yuzuru turn out of the corner of his eye. He silently cursed the barista for calling his name out loud, and made the mistake of glancing quickly to see Yuzuru’s reaction. The moment their eyes met, he knew he was done for, and he grabbed his drink and ran off.

=================================================================================

“Purple hair, blue eyes, glasses, ring a bell?”

Ibara paused, but clearly he paused for too long, because Yuzuru was grinning.  
  
<<I have no idea what you’re talking about>>

Yuzuru laughed. “Funny, I didn’t expect you to look my age. Interesting that the government hired someone so young, or have you been lying the whole time and are actually part of the illegal underworld?”  
  
<<Hmph, the police don’t care about age when it comes to ability.>>

“Sure. Well unfortunately this conversation can’t last very long, I have to go off now. See you around, Ibara” And with that he gave the webcam a kiss before closing the laptop shut.  
  
Ibara just sat in his seat in shock, face all red, and despite all his training, he  _did_ hope he would see Yuzuru around again.

**Author's Note:**

> hey thanks for reading i know i butchered them but i actually love ibayuzu a lot and im just waiting for happyele to kill me with their backstory  
> hmu @spacetier on twitter to shout at me for writing this shit. i never talk about my fics there but i occasionally post shitty comics. i might take this @ down later when im more awake tho HAHA


End file.
